Quick post @ Changi

Umh yeah... Here I am. Changi Airport budget terminal. I'll be fine... Will I? I am still reeling from what happened yesterday. I will be fine. I will be fine... I hope... Ready or not... Nong Khai, here I come.

Waiting for God's answer day 2 (3 May)

Phew... Another fun yet tiring day. Was a little bit upset by the Management Office who did not provide me with any solutions regarding my weird check out-check in timing. Oh, Nugie's rucksack was huge hahaha... One less thing to worry about. And the 2 BBQs on the same day were successfully done despite the rain (thank God... He satisfied two persons need) Well... I will provide the details other time. Too tired already. Packing not done yet phew...

Waiting for God's answer day 1 (2 May)

I have decided that for the uncoming days (while waiting for my plane) I would find God's heart first before moving in action. I dont even want to see her first, a little bit scared that I would change my mind. Not blaming her for that, just blaming my sweet weak spot for her. So here I am. 2 April, day 1 of waiting.

Started the day pretty late with a knock on my door. Nugie n Freddy were there, indicating I woke up late for KTB. Read the messages received on my phone to find Chelsea lost to Liverpool on PKs. The way Edwin phrased it is quite cocky (nyolot) "Trnyata klub yang pemain lapis 1 ama lapis 2 nya katanya setara ga bisa penalty kick.. Ic2.." (translation: apparently, the club which have the same strength among its first stringers and second ones could not do penalty kicks, i see...). Well... Introducing the nyolotest guy in my batch. Anyways, shared my Thai burden with my KTB mates and they prayed for me. Somehow, Nugie's voice changed during the prayer and that gave me strength. It's like how my dad's voice comforted me when a bucketful hot water was accidentaly poured onto my feet when I was in primary umh... four?

Today there was a change in plan. Supposedly I would slack (or rather pack) the whole day. But apparently, the guys are having dim sum buffet at Yum Cha. Thus, being a hypersocial fella, I joinged the $15 fun. Their chicken feet were awesome!!! I had 4 portions of that, hhaha. Maybe, my liking towards "ceker" is caused by the nostalgic value. I remember how my mum always take out the bones for me so I could eat the feet easily. Well, I ate a little bit too much at Yum Cha that I could not finish my fourth round of mango pudding.

Another badminton session today! Yay! The blisters on my sole havent healed properly yet, but I forced myself to play. Barefooted. Again. Wheee... It was damn fun. Aldo was especially hard to play against. Honestly. Although I beat him flat 15-0, but it was VERY VERY tough to gain a point from him. Did not voor him for God's sake. Apparently he did buy 3 vanguards and 3 hoods. If you found the last line confusing, try playing DotA.

Yeah, maybe it is good to be single after all. But I dont know yet how is it feels to be attached. So, I could not decide which is better. One thing I know is that I wont want to let her go... Maybe Joshua Harris is true. Just leave the singlehood to God, and use it for His glory. Oh well.. My singlehood sure played some parts in my ease to decide to go to the mission trip. I cant think of any girls who are going to be very very sad if I were to MIA there HAHAHAHAHAH....

HOLD ON! (1 May)

The message is clear. Hold on! Today, this is what I got from my dearest Dad. He spoke through 4 things and the message was clear: HOLD ON!

1. Read a book "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" by Joshua Harris. This book (I dunno how to write summary) speaks about not to do the 'dating' game, unless there is a readiness to move towards marriage. This book does make a lot of sense. In a way, there is no use of getting ready for marriage if I'm not ready for it. What about having a girlfriend for fun you might say? Whoa.. I'm against that actually. Okay, it may be fun in a way, but I do think that there will be many frictions in a relationship, and thus, making it not really fun. Dont want the headache yet. Am I ready for marriage? No. Can I support a family? No. The best thing to happen to me is that that girl would wait together with me till I am (or rather, both of us) ready to move on.

2. Talked with Ci Biena. She suddenly asked whether I have had any girlfriend. I said no (honestly, no) and she replied "good". Well, this might not mean anything to anyone else. But for me, this means HOLD ON! I have been wanting to ask either Ko Omar or Ci Biena about this problem I have but yeah, just a little bit confused how to communicate it to them. And this "good" means that it is good for me that I havent gotten anyone whom I am (or was) attached to. I want to have only one girlfriend in my life, just like my mum only has one boyfriend (now ex-boyfriend already: my dad).

3. When I took taxi to Vivo, the taxi driver suddenly mentioned that I look "sweet" (oh no...) and he warned me not to play around with girls. How the hell the uncle asked me that?! Quite a weird conversation topic between a passenger and a driver, correct? Well, divine revelation, I guess. Especially when the uncle is a Christian too... Maybe God has spoken through Him? Dunno leh...

4. Spiderman 3. Yeah! Cool fighting scenes... Nice plot... Lousy ending. But worth my $10 (Bung Leo took te 50c coz no change haha) coz all the friends there. Special mention here, Mark with his cam reminds me of Eddie Brock Jr (or something like that), the Venom guy, haha. Anyways, the thing that spoke to me was when the Auntie May (is it the name?) told Peter Parker that (bleh, forgot the words already) a guy must be ready to (what was it?) to his wife forever. Basicly, the word forever reminds me something. When a couple married, they are ready to spend their time together FOREVER. Am I ready to enter such a high level of commitment? HELLO.... I'm still a kid in my heart. Not ready (I think) for such a thing. But then again, I might be ready. AAAAARGH! Test me, Lord!

So yeah... The message is clear: HOLD ON! I thus commit myself to find God's words first on what am I supposed to do with this. At least till I'm leaving for Nong Khai...

Inactivity

Well... Going to be inactive for a few weeks (or months) due to the I-dont-have-laptop-damnit reason. Yeah, maybe my last post before I'm leaving for Nong Khai (pray for me would you)... Anyways, will keep my journal of thoughts on paper so I can retype after got the chance.

Edited: Oh well... After all I should document my stuff first before leaving for Thailand... Read on..

This is going to be a short post, very short post... Maybe the title is a little long but trust me that this is a short post

Another day passed, meaning my day to Nong Khai can be counted. Oh well, I havent checked out, havent pay for vacation stay, havent plan my schedule. Pretty much 'busy' with fun. Yesterday it was MPSH1, Sheng Siong, Dover Market and Orchard, PGP MPH. Nothing much happened... Just that I had this new hair style, which made me look like a typical Singaporean sec school guys... Wew. Ci Biena in fact like it. Oh well, I hope all the gals like it too. Hahaha.

Anyways, I met the parents of the three fella. The mum is a NAGGER. Bleh. Dont like her style and her approach but she did make some sense. But I saluted the dad. He rawks. He is a quiet guy with a huge success. It's like his success intercedes for him already. He taught me few stuff over the car ride he gave me (nice guy eh??) and yeah... I learned much from him. And he gave me his phone number. And promised me that he can help me if I need some help. Great! I've acquainted with a great entrepreneur. Thank God!

The car ride enabled me to play some badminton. Haha. At least this is THE field where I can cupu people. Initially I replaced Evelyn (thanks, Eve) to partner Dank playing against Djaja and Anton. Good pair are they. Haha. Managed to get some action when 'by one-ing' Asec. Beating him three sets 15-7 15-8 16-14 (even when I voor him at the third set). Yeah, that's all. I'm quite not in my mood to write, coz I might not see her after all. She is soo busy.

29 April's post

Today is my retaliation day. Whee... slept until 1pm (whee on one hand, damn on the other hand) but I skipped today's FA (sorry Ko Menthol). Yeah, been lacking of sleep for few weeks. I can take it but for someone whose just-nice-amount of sleep is 10 hours, I have deprived myself from my sleeping indulgence. Well, my best (or rather, worst) record of sleeping is 16half hours (should be longer, if only Danz did not play his guitar next bed)... That was just for my tabs keeping sake.

I did sound system as usual despite my unfamiliarity with the mixer (come on, man... 48 channels). Did a pretty fatal (not fatal, actually... but then it is very harmful) mistake by forgetting to switch the power level to zero before switching it off. Well Adrian (not the ISCF boss), you never taught me how to do stuff! How am I supposed to know what to do?! Okay lorh, gotta observe more and learn from my mistakes, whee...

Did I mention ISCF. Yeah. Talking about it, Nugie (my ISCF cell leader) came to my church today. Alone. I was wondering why he came today, considering he is the coordinator of his church's youth group. Ok, fine, you can meet God anywhere. But what about his responsibility? And the massive difference in the culture of the two churches? Did he not feel awkward? Humph... Shall talk about denominations later. Or maybe I should not... Very sensitive issue here.

I will leave for Nong Khai (Thailand) on 5th. I'll have to reach Changi (the airport) by 5 AM on that day. Each day, I've grown bad feeling about this thing. Especially when Ko Omar asked the Thai team to come forward to be prayed for. He mentioned something about we signed an indemnity form saying that we wont sue anyone if something happen to us during the trip (even if we die, no one is liable of any allegation). Okay, I am dead serious (pun intended) about my Nong Khai thing. Even if God tells me specifically that I'm going to die, I'll still go for it, if He promises that someone's going to be changed by my trip there. After all is not this trip God's calling to me? I have paid for this thing, which shows my commitment towards the trip.

Actually, regarding this bad feeling I have only one thing to worry about. And this is in the form of a girl. I AM really afraid I wont see her anymore. She would go back to her hometown when I am in Thailand. I mean something may occur to me (God forbid!) or her (God, please forbid!) that I could not see her anymore. I am real scared of this prospect. I know the chance of her returning this is very low, judging from her friendly response to me (which reminds me of Grace's response) and thus, I do not expect much. I dunno whether I would have any chances.... Lets be blatant. I am very very afraid of two things. One, I die on my mission trip. Two, she is taken during the holidays. Okay, I have known her for only 2 months, but it is enough for her to attract me.

Especially after today... I found her even more attractive than usual. Not because of her tank top (guys are weak at this, but sure I have seen many girls wearing much less than that) but for something I just could not explain (factor X, then...). I just like her even more. Is this love? Maybe, but I just want to spend more time with her. Till eternity maybe? Especially with the weird feeling inside me (see paragraph above). This reason of might-lose-her-forever alone gave me enough courage to ask her out on supper today. Sign that she trusts me? I dunno.

Anyways... I have been deserted by my own friends. Haha. Kidding. Actually I should apologize to them for umh... neglecting them. But then again I'M NOT ATTACHED FOR GOD'S SAKE!!! Oh well.. I dunno what will happen if some of us really get ourselves attached. I have no idea.... Oh well... for now just enjoy the moments.