Lamistry - branch of science learning the art of quick manipulating of words and phrases

there is no point trying to relight a burning splinter
it would just burn the splinter faster

The Lame One

The fella who is walking on earth, yet the mind is running much ahead of his fellow human. However, the train of thought (or maybe, the jet) is undeciphered by some, and hence... LAME!!!!
Someone who is consistenty seeking ways to improve himself, be it in the terms of numbers and quality of his life skills, or in some case his lamistry ability.
A very very nostalgic guy. Most of the things in his possessions have nostalgic value. He even keeps a box in his cupboard containing seemingly insignificant things that would remind him of his friends.

Original Lamistry

Upon meeting you, a friend asks in Chinese "Ni hao ma?". You answer "Wo hen hao... kan".
After an exam, your friend asks you "How's the paper?". You reply "Crumpled".
If someone says "See you...", you reply "If I havent turned invisible by then".
When someone waves at you, flash him a two coz scissors beats paper.
If someone does a good job, I'll give him 5 thumbs up. My fingers, my toes and my thumbdrive.
Get your opposite gender friend to push you. Then say, "Wah, gw baru ditolak.."
When your friend asks "Dude, where are the rest?", you answer "In the restroom"...
Put your palms on an apartment wall. Tell your friends that it is freehold.
What do you call a civilisation which is entirely build on toilet paper? Ans: Tissue culture.
You meet your friend. Point towards the sky to ask: What's up?
You meet your friend. Your friend asks "What's up?". You answer "Ceiling yo!!!"
A tsunami comes when you are asleep, what do you need to survive? Ans: A wakeboard.

When the lame starts blogging...