Another New Chapter

I've lost my application as UC PD this year. Uh well, little bit down (for exactly 3 seconds) and after that, well... actually everything was too perfect such that I half-expecting something unexpected to come up. I guess that would give me more time to learn before handling the real UC next year (can I hear an amen for that??). Haha... This makes me think as always that I am not worthy of being in my state right now. Let me illustrate this using a 2000-year old parable:

A boss called his three servants. He gave one servant 5000 bucks, second one 2000 bucks, third one 1000 bucks. Then the man went abroad for some business. After a few months, the man returned back. He summoned the three servants. The first servant proudly returned 10000 bucks to the man, saying that he did some business using the money entrusted to him and thus, he doubled the amount given to him. The boss praised this servant. The second servant carried with him 4000 bucks as his short term investment was a huge success. The boss praised this servant as well. The third man returned exactly 1000 bucks while complaining that his boss trying to get a cheap labor out of him. Well, the boss became pissed and told him to get off.

Well, I feel like the third servant.
*is that what you expect me to say?*

No, I feel like in the position of the second servant who is given less than half the money of the first one. I am talking about my talent and my strength here. In the world where everyone around me is the best out of the best, sometimes I feel inferior to them. Not that I am bloody stupid or something. Just that I am mediocre. Not good enough to compete against those guys around me. I realized that I am good at learning new things, but not to master them. However, in the world of meritocracy, only the best is considered. As I said, I think I am simply in the wrong place here. Add my financial challenges to that, well... That would double my challenge. Sometimes, this feeling of inferiority engulfed me especially when I am after girls hahaha... (why the hell the girls I like always bloody more than 3 times as rich as me??????? WHY?)

However, this feeling can bring me to thank God (to whom I believe 100%). You see, it is just impossible for me to be here, let alone doing pretty good job down here. I mean, not splendidly marvelously well done, but it is good enough for my survival. In the mean time, I think I should learn more and more things. Although a mediocre guy is no use, a handyman could be of a lot of use. Oh, I have decided to use my newly obtained thick-wood carpentry skill for a new project. Project Give All is on the course...