The message is now even clearer... Oh God, Thy will be done. If this is Your will, I'll give everything. AAARGH!!! Dunno alredy... Just cant write more.
1. God's provision is on time, never be too early, never be too late.
2. I am not ready for marriage.
3. Meaning romance is too early.
4. Meaning I'll have to wait.
5. Advance proposal is not viable coz it shows possessiveness.
Ha?! You think in Singapore nothing is free eh? Hahaha... Not true. There are few free stuff in Singapore. Note: some required thick-skinness to get. Dont tell me I havent warn you hahaha. But then again, for some people who have very little amount of money, this might be useful. Here's the list:
1. Free iced plain water
- Any fast food chain (McD, KFC, BK)
- Standard Chartered (I only know the one in Shaw House, though)
- Get the ice cubes from 711's Gulp machines and go to the nearest toilet
- NUH Emergency waiting room
2. Free Internet (legal one, that is)
- Any Topshops (the one I have tested is in Wisma Atria)
- The trial I'm using right now, available at MRT stations: Yishun, AMK, Orchard, City Hall, Raffles Place, Bugis
- Changi Airport, if you have a boarding pass
3. Free food
- Bee Cheng Hiang samples
- ISETAN Supermarket in B1 of Shaw House sometimes holds food fair (meaning free samples)
4. Free local phone calls
- Hall 4 ACS(I) Boarding School (pity the access is very limited)
- Changi Airport (people use them a lot)
5. Free foot massage
- Changi Airport (again) arrival terminal
6. Free coins
- Need some luck, search through all vending machines you can find
7. Free living appliances
- NUS and NTU Halls of Residence, at the end of a academic year (trust me, it's like IKEA having 100% discount promotion)
50 bucks is the price for my close-to-nonsensical worry @ Nong Khai. That's some wasting of my money but hope the cause worth it. I dunno... I HOPE it does worth it. Late development does not support my original theory. Who knows? I mean it's just funny of me feeling 'jealous' when I do not have the right to. Well, I've read the Boy Meets Girl by Joshua Harris and I know that stupid feeling is wrong. I cant lay claim of anyone or any actions that do not belong to me correct? Oh well, not saying that jealousy is wrong. I mean God calls Himself 'jealous'. As I said, it just depends on the nature of ownership of the things being 'jealoused' at. Okay, this paragraph is close to nonsense coz I deliberately omitted some details. Never mind about this, I just feel like writing this stuff down... No other intention.
Anyways, being an 'I/S/D' person, I just cant help to calculate risk and analyze problems. Good thing that some times God gives me some kinds of sharpness to cut through the superficial layer of conversation. Like yesterday, was in the middle of chat with (hmm... let's give her a nickname...) 'little cow' and out of the blue I asked her whether she got a story to tell... This light conversation ended up as serious one (about BGR) and I'm glad that I could help someone in a sense. Took a compliment from her "i mean, lmy jg buat curhat langsugn mengena gitu ehehehe" (translation: "i mean not bad for sharing, you are very direct"). Oh well, thanks for that. This reminds me of previous incident with my good friend, SiDney. Shall not disclose anything here coz I'll remember this incident for life. Do I have that instinct? I'm not sure coz the thing kicked a few times in my life. If I were to master that instinct to cut through the surface, who knows... I might end up as a councillor / psychologist or whatever you call it.
Read a very interesting blog today, one of a famous fella in NUS. I salute him for his freaking creativity on reporting political matters in NUS. Hahaha... 5 thumbs up: my thumbs, my toes, and my thumbdrive... (oh hey, that's an original, yay!) In the blog, he refers to many incidents in NUS by creating a parallel world. What is it called again? Social satire or something. Well, it is just plain cool, hahaha....
Unlike someone (or many ones) out there, I am not waiting till last minutes to decide what module I should take next sem. Other than 4 core modules, I am planning to go for Chinese 1 and one of the TR modules. I think my taking TR module can be easily understood coz I'm planning to minor there. But why Chinese??? Some people told me that it is a very difficult-to-score module. Well, I dont believe so. Bul got A and Jahat got B+. My main reason to take Chinese 1 is so that I understand my race's language and hopefully culture as well. After all I might need to do something in the future in Chinese (details undisclosed yet...)
Chinese is tough! I got the impression today. Let the story begins. Well one fine day at Plaza Singapura's Carl's Jr... Hmm, maybe I should refer to one of my older posts here. Anyways, on top of the Chilli Cheeseburger with Ivan NB, we were discussing about next sem module. So we are planning to take Chinese 1 next sem. Yeah, that's the spoilsport module. I know many people who know Chinese and still want to take that basic module. Oh, and Nonk also plans to take this module, and his Chinese is pretty good, and he aims to get an A+, and I think I am going to coerce him to do my work haha... Latest info from Jahat is that the tutors can kick people out from Chinese 1 class if they found out that a student has some mastery in Chinese. Wew... Well, I dont have any... So yeah, cant kick me haha...
Oh and talking about Nonk, I think we are going to share the above mentioned modules haha... I'm Engin and he is SDE but it's just a coincidence that we shared 2 modules. And from previous experiences in TR2201, sharing module with Nonk might mean sleepless nights coz we are both last minuters. Not that we dont want to do it on time, just that ideas flow freely when we got no time. But then again, I'm hoping to get other A's like my TR.
Talked briefly to my dad about my result. He's not that satisfied but he said it was okay. His target for me for next sem: SAP 3.50. I think it is manageable coz I've found my motivation already. Moreover, I'm going to drop some CCAs and that means more spendable time. Hopefully can rake up some good marks from Chinese and TR. But the challenge is that I'm taking 6 modules without S/U option. Meaning more stuff to learn. Consistency then is a must. I shall pray so that I can stay focus in my studies. For a slacker like me, it is going to be tough, but I shall try.
Oh another challenge... How to manage my social life. I dont want to score 5.0 but lose many friends in the process. I mean being a hypersocial person, I might go crazy if I dont see anyone around me. If I were to lose my friends I dunno how long I can stay sane. Oh well, I'm not that sane after all. Anyways, time management is going to be very very important... This might be a test for my maturity. Might not there yet, but trying and trying and trying.
Keeping tabs, those confirmed coming to NUS: Kris, Doni, Anita, Harry
Whoo boy... I was too busy these days till I forgot that my exam result is coming out 26th May 1700. Okay, here is my result:
CS1101C B
great... considering I went laptopless last semester
EG1108 C
what??? that low? is it coz i screwed up the midterm?
MA1505 B-
thanks a lot yeah... seriously thanks for 'making' me come to lectures haha
PC1432 C+
ok... this is caused by my own mistake neglecting assignments: labs, mastering physics...
TR2201 A-
whoo yeah!!! wooohoooo!!! PTL!!! yay!!!
Am I happy? Yeah. Marks are improving compared to last semester. And my CAP increased a little. Nice one actually, 0.04 short to 3. Despite the improvements, I fell short of my dad's SAP target of 3.50 (and my own freak aim of 3.8). Oh by the way, must thank God for my first 'A' wheeee!!! Although it is an A- and it is not core (should I change major to business? haha) yeah, I am really thankful for that. Credit goes to Mr. Andrew Ng the awesome lecturer, n my group members (Nonk, Asoh, ZY, SL, Cindy, Yunle). Another one to thank, haha... You know who (not Voldemort, duh!) you are haha. The one girl who motivated me through last semester (not all the semester though). If and only if I have known her much earlier, haha, who knows I might have broken the 3.00 already by now. Anyways, yeah. Thanks a lot. I mean it. For everything.
Past few days been normal for me but abnormal for my friends....
- My girl friend's blood pressure dropped to a dangerous level. I pray VERY VERY hard about her. I do not want to lose her now.
- My FA mate is having a high fever.
- Another FA mate is going to be unable to go to church soon. Objection from family.
- My 'tuition' student faced the music from her mum and her granny and her landlord.
Sometimes make me wonder... Why does all the good people suffer? I remember one of the guys in the Bible complained about this as well but dont remember who. Oh well, that is life. It never been fair. People studied like hell and still fell short to those who never studied in his entire life. Nice guys lost to bad boys upon relationship matters, etc etc. Well, I did complain about that. But actually I am not in the place of that. I mean I'm just a small fry (no, a minuscule virus) in this huge world. Upon this realization the only thought which comes into my mind was God. This is how I define my God:
My God is big, so strong, so mighty
My God's plan for me, goes beyond my wildest dreams
My God is good, He's so good to me
He's my God and He is my refuge
He's the rock on which I stand
He's my fortress, God He is my life
He holds the oceans in His hand
There is nothing my God cannot do
There are 4 types of love as far as I understand: agape, philia, storge and eros. Okay, maybe a little confusing here, so here is the link to Wikipedia to describe all the 4 terms. And all these required well-oiled communication to work. Okay, one might argue about agape. Well, it may be true. Agape is the ultimate love. So yeah, lets take agape out. However, as I feel it today, sometimes, the main difference between true love and fleeting love is how it responds to the cease of communication.
Today is exceptionally interesting. Other than Nonk shaving his hair bald, I met two of my old friends. One is DC (Daniel Chan), my sec 4 classmate, and somehow we still remember each other, even through one glimpse, a typical passing each other thingy. The other one is Tim Lim (Mr. Timothy Lim), the Thio Chan Bee hallmaster. Now for the train of thought... Some days, friends will part their ways. But come think about it, friendships last. Does it? I think so. At least true ones will last for a long period, even there is a certain period of lapse in communication. Among true friends, there would be a certain bond of love which can compensate for lack of communication. It transcends distance and time. (whoa!)
And talking about a cease in communication, that reminds me of the saying 'true love waits'. Well, that is indeed the case in my honest opinion. One of the ways to differentiate between lust, just-an-infatuation and love is that only love will not pass the time test. Lust will be gone in a glimpse of an eye (best way to eliminate: prayer). Infatuation will cease once there is no communication (trust me, I have been there). But true love, by God's grace, will stand forever. Believeng in this, I always put my electric-sense-upon-seeing-that-girl into the 'time' test. And it is one of the toughest test around, coz you would have many weird thought when you are not seeing him/her for many days. And these days I am in this period. And I am 'tortured' in some sense. But I'm hanging right here, coz I want the best of me for this girl. The last thing I would want as a reason to break up with a girl is 'ilfil' (lost of feeling). So yeah, God please give me strength.
And now back to friendship. Among true friends there would be philos and from my definition of, it would last forever. So I do belive that my friends, no matter who where and how they are, will remain as my friends. Okay, this post may be a little incoherent and undeveloped, partially due to my tiredness, will try to go back to this post later (maybe). But yeah, that's my thought today before I completely forget about it.
PS: This post has been editted on 26th May.
Okay... Today is not a women's day or something but just suddenly reminded of this saying 'behind every great man there is a great woman' or something like that. Since I never consider myself THAT great, behind me there is more than just one woman, haha. Shall credit them here, wheee.... Oh and a little bit disclaimer here, I might not write about the guys version on this, simply because there are too many guys who have shaped me: my dad, my bro, 7 Deadly Sins, Hall 4 United, Engin Mugging Club, blah blah... (i always 'gang' up with guys what???). Anyways, here's my list (in no order of importance, other than my mum being the most important):
1. Tri Sinarwaningsih / Mum
The woman with 3 names. I used her self-given name out of respect for her decision. Well, she is a typical supermom. Nasty at times but very very very nice n loving lady. Can do anything, from cooking (her corn soup is awesome, drool drool!) to pharmacy (medicine pro, can cure any illness one) to business (her shop makes money already i think). The ALPHA female in my eyes. She has this prejudice about a certain group of people but hey, everyone does. But good thing is that she is very religious. Always obedient to God's law, including the love-thy-neighbour principle. I love her a lot.
2. Susmiyati / P6 Form Teacher
Fierce woman, iron hand, genious hater. She is the first hateable person I met in my life. Can forgive her already. She indirectly taught me many stuff. From how to lie low in hard environment to how to compromise with tough people. My mum said that she used my name to raise her popularity in my old school but yeah, who cares? As long as she does not do any harm to me, its okay.
3. Ninki Hermaduanti / Close Friend (SMP-SMA)
She was a smart girl. All of the time she is in top ten in school. Well, she is my first ever female close friend. From her I learn some stuff that differentiate a guy from a girl (not i the physical sense, mind you) such as how we think and behave. Called her Mbak Ninki which is how younger guy refers to slightly older woman.
4. Chiu Hwee Wan / Sec3-4 Form Teacher
The ultimate form teacher in my entire schooling life. Totally opposite of Susmiyati. Mrs Chiu cared for the well-being of her students, especially her international students. She made sure that we can cope well to Singapore education system, regularly calling informal meetings just to make sure we were doing well. And she is quite lame! Haha, could not forgot her 'come from China by sampan' and 'football club kids'.
5. Annisa Melissa Manurung / Close Friend (RELC-Sec4)
The second girl I address as Mbak. She is a very adventurous and daring girl. Knows many things. Has a crazy sense of spontaneity. She is a basketball lover. Taught her basketball at first, but she overtook me very fast.
6. Sifra Dian Asih / Close Friend
The name should be longer but I have forgotten wew... The aspired story writer / cartoonist / dancer / singer / linguist / whatever. Check her awesome blogs quite often. She always put her smile across her face even though she lives in a very very adverse living environment. I admired her faith in God. My bro and I always tag-team-ly play pranks on her due to her gullible nature. Hahaha...
7. Maria Yunita / Childhood Friend
Been friend since I-dont-know-when-is-it. We attended the same church, grew in the sunday school, and her recollection of me was 'the naughtiest guy around'. Someone (Vinz) speculated that she is my girlfriend. Well, up to this moment, it is entirely untrue. Normally it's "Maling teriak maling" (pot calling kettle black) right? A girl talented in artistic stuff (as far as I know: dancing, songwriting, singing), started to get close to her (after I moved to Singapore) due to her ex.
8. Grace Yunita Gumala / Ex-Crush
Just to clarify: she is happily in a relationship with another friend of mine. Occupied most of my mind during my JC2 year up to few months back. Emotionally pretty unstable but nice most of the time. A danceoholic at her own description, but also a pro singer. Love God pretty much, judging from her willingness to serve Him.
For now, this is the list. There are still many more who are still around me, supporting me in my life. But yeah, just cant write down everyone, coz they are still around! (dont you think it is very difficult to describe people around you)
*updated 220308 0625h*
Additional two names on the list other than changing the title.
9. Clara Yeo Siak Ying / Current Crush
The nicest girl around. She's the one whom I have always described as the nearest to perfection. Crazy insanely huge amount of faith and zeal for God despite her new-believer status. She taught me about priorities in life.
10. Gabriela Roxanne Kosasih / Junior
She's the one who pioneered the bible reading group. The typical female who is striving to be the best in all. Employing the asking favor method, she gets what she wants, in the exception of just one time. Given the effectiveness of her method, it teaches me to be always on guard.
Whoa... Bible Camp is over. A few errata here, the theme song was not ALL DAY. They changed it to REDEEMER by Planetshakers. Cool song, catchy music, lots of screams, powerful lyric, praise God!!! And it goes like this:
I:
My Savior is living in me
Redeemer, Jesus, He set me free!
Whoa oh oh!
V1:
My Jesus is better
Than anything in this world
He loves me, I love Him
So I give Him everything
PC1:
He gave His life for me
C:
My Saviour, is living in me
Redeemer, Jesus, He set me free!
V2:
He's living in my heart
He gave me a brand new start
I asked Him, He came in
And washed away all my sin
PC2:
He gave His life for me
He died to set me free
Int:
If You can use anything, You can use me
Take me and break me and mould me and use me
Out:
Whoa oh oh!
Jesus, He set me free!
Will be away for Bible Camp yeah!!! Expecting something big from there. Dunno how God would work but yeah, He's going to do SOMETHING BIG again, I believe. Shall be Undignified for Him there and after. Oh, and the theme song of the TLG Bible Camp 2007: Undignified is All Day by Hillsong United:
I dont care what they say about me it's alright
It's alright
I dont care what they think about me it's alright
They'll get it one day
Coz I love You, I'll follow You
You are my, my life
And I will read my Bible and pray
I will follow You all day
All day
All day, now
All day
(I will follow you)
Having a pretty crazy gastronomic experience today (or rather, yesterday). After having ayam penyet (with a lot lot lot of the sambal), I went to Es Teler 77 (where I used to work everyday) to have the specialty drink (the Es Teler). And since I know the guys there, they gave me extra ice, extra milk, extra fruit, etc, at a discounted price (sure Bim n Bul did not regret accompanying me there wew). After that, I decided to hang out with the Engin guys and Ansley (Mr A&W) at Holland V. Got an Earthquake (see Swensen's website) treat from Ansley there. Nice nice. And after the chilli-ice-ice diet, my stomach went disoriented, even before i reached PGP.
This incident makes me think about sin. Im not talking about trigonometry of course... Im talking about Romans 6:23's sin. Anyways... Eating a LOT of chili is like committing sin in many ways:
1. It has a great feeling when you do it.
2. You know that something bad is going to happen to you.
3. It is difficult to resist the temptation.
4. When you realize that you are doing it, it is already too late.
5. The result may surface before you can say "OH NO!" but it may not surface at all.
6. The consequences would be a pain in the ass.
7. You will regret doing it, but you will do it again.
Oh, for the point number seven might not necessarily be true for sin case. Coz Somebody up there has sacrificed Himself so that all sins (yes, ALL) can be forgiven. Maybe some would disagree with me coz if you have read the Bible thoroughly, it has been said that denying the Holy Spirit is unforgiveable. But yeah, for this I am not sure. I mean, if someone has really denied the Holy Spirit, will he be able to realize that he need forgiveness from God? I dont think so. So yeah, by the grace of God, I do believe that it is possible that we are free from all sins.
In the mean time, I shall eat my
And you HAVE TO be fine :)
Recently noticed that most of my posts are the what-i-do-today type. Maybe that's because I havent really think (contemplating, pondering, or whatevering) for a while. The last time I was deep in thought maybe when I was thinking about my family. Well, must blame myself for that. Having quite a lot of CCAs is quite bad for personal growth. Oh well, still cant blame CCA. Its my fault of not doing deep-in-thought mode.
Now I'm in a period of trials. One, someone out there is having REAL TOUGH problem in her life. Two, financial problem. Three, identity crisis. So yeah... Just want to write down abt my identity crisis. People know me currently as a lame guy with very very introvertic nature. But am I REALLY what people think I am? This is what I thought for the last few days. I can adjust my personality anytime I want. I can be very very high but I can also be very very quiet. Which one should I choose? Do I even have a real personality? Well, I think people like me to be quiet. My extended family and my FA members, for example, prefer the "quiet" Mike rather than the "normal" Mike. Oh and I did a few experiments to my NUS friends (not the close ones, that is) and the result is pretty much similar. But hey, still there are many more people out there, correct?
Shared this with Andreas. He said that that it doesnt really matter what people think about you but what God think of you. Yes indeed. I agree with him to large extent (sounds like Social Studies, eh?) but still in this society, I need to work my way too... While I believe God can open my ways, I still need to present myself in the other people's eyes right? I havent received any revelation on this matter. For now I shall be the Mike prople know of.
Oh and this paragraph is just a disclaimer: Someone told me today that blogging is stupid coz it's like letting outsiders know in depth about yourself. But not my case, k? I just want to record my thought and this blog should be personal coz I never publish it to masses (I just tell my close frens, considering telling my FA friends now)
Oi, come on la!
Pick someone of your own size!
Dont bully little girl okay?
You no power also still want to bully is it?
Fight me la!
I'm ready one!
Leave her alone ok!
I can take it one!
COME LA!
Thank God I am SAFE and SOUND. Yeah... As it has been said... I AM FINE. Quite tired now so going to sleep after reading my mail. Will do updating as soon as possible. May create another blog to write about Nong Khai. For now, yeah... Thank God I'm fine.
Umh yeah... Here I am. Changi Airport budget terminal. I'll be fine... Will I? I am still reeling from what happened yesterday. I will be fine. I will be fine... I hope... Ready or not... Nong Khai, here I come.
Phew... Another fun yet tiring day. Was a little bit upset by the Management Office who did not provide me with any solutions regarding my weird check out-check in timing. Oh, Nugie's rucksack was huge hahaha... One less thing to worry about. And the 2 BBQs on the same day were successfully done despite the rain (thank God... He satisfied two persons need) Well... I will provide the details other time. Too tired already. Packing not done yet phew...
I have decided that for the uncoming days (while waiting for my plane) I would find God's heart first before moving in action. I dont even want to see her first, a little bit scared that I would change my mind. Not blaming her for that, just blaming my sweet weak spot for her. So here I am. 2 April, day 1 of waiting.
Started the day pretty late with a knock on my door. Nugie n Freddy were there, indicating I woke up late for KTB. Read the messages received on my phone to find Chelsea lost to Liverpool on PKs. The way Edwin phrased it is quite cocky (nyolot) "Trnyata klub yang pemain lapis 1 ama lapis 2 nya katanya setara ga bisa penalty kick.. Ic2.." (translation: apparently, the club which have the same strength among its first stringers and second ones could not do penalty kicks, i see...). Well... Introducing the nyolotest guy in my batch. Anyways, shared my Thai burden with my KTB mates and they prayed for me. Somehow, Nugie's voice changed during the prayer and that gave me strength. It's like how my dad's voice comforted me when a bucketful hot water was accidentaly poured onto my feet when I was in primary umh... four?
Today there was a change in plan. Supposedly I would slack (or rather pack) the whole day. But apparently, the guys are having dim sum buffet at Yum Cha. Thus, being a hypersocial fella, I joinged the $15 fun. Their chicken feet were awesome!!! I had 4 portions of that, hhaha. Maybe, my liking towards "ceker" is caused by the nostalgic value. I remember how my mum always take out the bones for me so I could eat the feet easily. Well, I ate a little bit too much at Yum Cha that I could not finish my fourth round of mango pudding.
Another badminton session today! Yay! The blisters on my sole havent healed properly yet, but I forced myself to play. Barefooted. Again. Wheee... It was damn fun. Aldo was especially hard to play against. Honestly. Although I beat him flat 15-0, but it was VERY VERY tough to gain a point from him. Did not voor him for God's sake. Apparently he did buy 3 vanguards and 3 hoods. If you found the last line confusing, try playing DotA.
Yeah, maybe it is good to be single after all. But I dont know yet how is it feels to be attached. So, I could not decide which is better. One thing I know is that I wont want to let her go... Maybe Joshua Harris is true. Just leave the singlehood to God, and use it for His glory. Oh well.. My singlehood sure played some parts in my ease to decide to go to the mission trip. I cant think of any girls who are going to be very very sad if I were to MIA there HAHAHAHAHAH....
The message is clear. Hold on! Today, this is what I got from my dearest Dad. He spoke through 4 things and the message was clear: HOLD ON!
1. Read a book "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" by Joshua Harris. This book (I dunno how to write summary) speaks about not to do the 'dating' game, unless there is a readiness to move towards marriage. This book does make a lot of sense. In a way, there is no use of getting ready for marriage if I'm not ready for it. What about having a girlfriend for fun you might say? Whoa.. I'm against that actually. Okay, it may be fun in a way, but I do think that there will be many frictions in a relationship, and thus, making it not really fun. Dont want the headache yet. Am I ready for marriage? No. Can I support a family? No. The best thing to happen to me is that that girl would wait together with me till I am (or rather, both of us) ready to move on.
2. Talked with Ci Biena. She suddenly asked whether I have had any girlfriend. I said no (honestly, no) and she replied "good". Well, this might not mean anything to anyone else. But for me, this means HOLD ON! I have been wanting to ask either Ko Omar or Ci Biena about this problem I have but yeah, just a little bit confused how to communicate it to them. And this "good" means that it is good for me that I havent gotten anyone whom I am (or was) attached to. I want to have only one girlfriend in my life, just like my mum only has one boyfriend (now ex-boyfriend already: my dad).
3. When I took taxi to Vivo, the taxi driver suddenly mentioned that I look "sweet" (oh no...) and he warned me not to play around with girls. How the hell the uncle asked me that?! Quite a weird conversation topic between a passenger and a driver, correct? Well, divine revelation, I guess. Especially when the uncle is a Christian too... Maybe God has spoken through Him? Dunno leh...
4. Spiderman 3. Yeah! Cool fighting scenes... Nice plot... Lousy ending. But worth my $10 (Bung Leo took te 50c coz no change haha) coz all the friends there. Special mention here, Mark with his cam reminds me of Eddie Brock Jr (or something like that), the Venom guy, haha. Anyways, the thing that spoke to me was when the Auntie May (is it the name?) told Peter Parker that (bleh, forgot the words already) a guy must be ready to (what was it?) to his wife forever. Basicly, the word forever reminds me something. When a couple married, they are ready to spend their time together FOREVER. Am I ready to enter such a high level of commitment? HELLO.... I'm still a kid in my heart. Not ready (I think) for such a thing. But then again, I might be ready. AAAAARGH! Test me, Lord!
So yeah... The message is clear: HOLD ON! I thus commit myself to find God's words first on what am I supposed to do with this. At least till I'm leaving for Nong Khai...
Well... Going to be inactive for a few weeks (or months) due to the I-dont-have-laptop-damnit reason. Yeah, maybe my last post before I'm leaving for Nong Khai (pray for me would you)... Anyways, will keep my journal of thoughts on paper so I can retype after got the chance.
Edited: Oh well... After all I should document my stuff first before leaving for Thailand... Read on..
Another day passed, meaning my day to Nong Khai can be counted. Oh well, I havent checked out, havent pay for vacation stay, havent plan my schedule. Pretty much 'busy' with fun. Yesterday it was MPSH1, Sheng Siong, Dover Market and Orchard, PGP MPH. Nothing much happened... Just that I had this new hair style, which made me look like a typical Singaporean sec school guys... Wew. Ci Biena in fact like it. Oh well, I hope all the gals like it too. Hahaha.
Anyways, I met the parents of the three fella. The mum is a NAGGER. Bleh. Dont like her style and her approach but she did make some sense. But I saluted the dad. He rawks. He is a quiet guy with a huge success. It's like his success intercedes for him already. He taught me few stuff over the car ride he gave me (nice guy eh??) and yeah... I learned much from him. And he gave me his phone number. And promised me that he can help me if I need some help. Great! I've acquainted with a great entrepreneur. Thank God!
The car ride enabled me to play some badminton. Haha. At least this is THE field where I can cupu people. Initially I replaced Evelyn (thanks, Eve) to partner Dank playing against Djaja and Anton. Good pair are they. Haha. Managed to get some action when 'by one-ing' Asec. Beating him three sets 15-7 15-8 16-14 (even when I voor him at the third set). Yeah, that's all. I'm quite not in my mood to write, coz I might not see her after all. She is soo busy.
Today is my retaliation day. Whee... slept until 1pm (whee on one hand, damn on the other hand) but I skipped today's FA (sorry Ko Menthol). Yeah, been lacking of sleep for few weeks. I can take it but for someone whose just-nice-amount of sleep is 10 hours, I have deprived myself from my sleeping indulgence. Well, my best (or rather, worst) record of sleeping is 16half hours (should be longer, if only Danz did not play his guitar next bed)... That was just for my tabs keeping sake.
I did sound system as usual despite my unfamiliarity with the mixer (come on, man... 48 channels). Did a pretty fatal (not fatal, actually... but then it is very harmful) mistake by forgetting to switch the power level to zero before switching it off. Well Adrian (not the ISCF boss), you never taught me how to do stuff! How am I supposed to know what to do?! Okay lorh, gotta observe more and learn from my mistakes, whee...
Did I mention ISCF. Yeah. Talking about it, Nugie (my ISCF cell leader) came to my church today. Alone. I was wondering why he came today, considering he is the coordinator of his church's youth group. Ok, fine, you can meet God anywhere. But what about his responsibility? And the massive difference in the culture of the two churches? Did he not feel awkward? Humph... Shall talk about denominations later. Or maybe I should not... Very sensitive issue here.
I will leave for Nong Khai (Thailand) on 5th. I'll have to reach Changi (the airport) by 5 AM on that day. Each day, I've grown bad feeling about this thing. Especially when Ko Omar asked the Thai team to come forward to be prayed for. He mentioned something about we signed an indemnity form saying that we wont sue anyone if something happen to us during the trip (even if we die, no one is liable of any allegation). Okay, I am dead serious (pun intended) about my Nong Khai thing. Even if God tells me specifically that I'm going to die, I'll still go for it, if He promises that someone's going to be changed by my trip there. After all is not this trip God's calling to me? I have paid for this thing, which shows my commitment towards the trip.
Actually, regarding this bad feeling I have only one thing to worry about. And this is in the form of a girl. I AM really afraid I wont see her anymore. She would go back to her hometown when I am in Thailand. I mean something may occur to me (God forbid!) or her (God, please forbid!) that I could not see her anymore. I am real scared of this prospect. I know the chance of her returning this is very low, judging from her friendly response to me (which reminds me of Grace's response) and thus, I do not expect much. I dunno whether I would have any chances.... Lets be blatant. I am very very afraid of two things. One, I die on my mission trip. Two, she is taken during the holidays. Okay, I have known her for only 2 months, but it is enough for her to attract me.
Especially after today... I found her even more attractive than usual. Not because of her tank top (guys are weak at this, but sure I have seen many girls wearing much less than that) but for something I just could not explain (factor X, then...). I just like her even more. Is this love? Maybe, but I just want to spend more time with her. Till eternity maybe? Especially with the weird feeling inside me (see paragraph above). This reason of might-lose-her-forever alone gave me enough courage to ask her out on supper today. Sign that she trusts me? I dunno.
Anyways... I have been deserted by my own friends. Haha. Kidding. Actually I should apologize to them for umh... neglecting them. But then again I'M NOT ATTACHED FOR GOD'S SAKE!!! Oh well.. I dunno what will happen if some of us really get ourselves attached. I have no idea.... Oh well... for now just enjoy the moments.
